2. Time: I had no idea this process would take so long. I’m not sure it is worth it. When you underestimate the time needed to reach your goal, you are tempted to give up on the goal. The optimism about time to meet goals is evident when you are trying to change while others seem to ignore your new behavior. You tend to be seen in a manner consistent with previous stereotypes; people look for behaviors that prove their stereotype is correct. In setting goals, you need to be realistic about the time required to produce a positive, long-term change in behavior. Know that others’ perceptions may seem unfair and that — as you change your behavior — others may not recognize the change for months. If you set realistic expectations, you won’t feel that something is wrong with you when you face a time challenge. Ultimately, changed behavior will lead to changed perceptions and more effective relationships.

3. Difficulty: This is harder than I thought it would be. Most achievement takes longer and requires more work! Don’t confuse simple with easy. You want to believe that once you set a simple goal, it will be easy to get results. If this were true, all people who know that they should eat a healthy diet and exercise regularly would be in shape. The challenge is in the doing! Long-term change requires real effort. It can be challenging for you to listen patiently while others say things you do not want to hear. While you may see the need to change — and desire to change — it is still hard to have the discipline to change. Real change requires real work. Buying into statements like “this will be easy for you” makes you feel good in the short term, but backfires in the long term; when you realize that change is not so easy and begin to face trade-offs and challenges. Knowing the price for success at the start prevents demoralization that occurs when challenges arise.

4. Distractions: I’d like to work toward my goal, but I’m facing a unique challenge right now. Perhaps I should stop and pursue this goal later! Goalsetters tend to underestimate the distractions and competing goals that appear. Be assured: some distraction or crisis will emerge! It may come from a problem or opportunity. It’s hard to focus on long-term development when you face a short-term crisis, or a “once in a lifetime” short-term opportunity. In planning, assume that distractions and competing goals will occur. Expect the unexpected, and build in time to deal with it. You’ll be less likely to give up when problems or opportunities appear.

5. Rewards: Why am I working so hard at change when, after all my effort, I’m not making any more money! You tend to be disappointed when achieving one goal doesn’t immediately translate into achieving other goals. For example, dieters who lose weight may give up on weight loss when prospective dates don’t soon become more attracted to them. You need to buy in to the value of a long-term investment in your development. If you mistakenly believe that improving your skills will quickly lead to short-term profits, promotions, or recognition, you may become disappointed and give up when these benefits don’t immediately occur. If you see personal change as a long-term investment in development — one that will help you become more effective over time — you’ll pay the short-term price.