Playing Favorites By Marshall Goldsmith There’s a reason I devote...
The most common problem faced by the very successful executives I meet is wanting to win too much. Winning is, of course, not bad thing — quite the opposite. But the desire to win can become a problem, especially when the topic is meaningless or trivial.
To gauge my clients’ “addiction to winning,” I present them with the following case study:
You want to go to dinner at restaurant X. Your spouse, partner, or friend wants to go to dinner at restaurant Y. You have a heated argument. You end up at restaurant Y — not your choice. The food tastes awful. The service is terrible.
Option A – Critique the experience. Point out that your partner was wrong. Explain that this terrible mistake could have been avoided if you had made the decision.
Option B – Shut-up. Eat the stupid food. Try to enjoy it. Have a nice evening.
What would you do?
Seventy-five percent of my clients “fail themselves” by saying that they would critique the food. What they should do is shut-up and enjoy the evening. There’s nothing to be gained here by critiquing and complaining.
How do you take a more thoughtful approach to such situations and keep your desire to win in check? Before speaking, take a deep breath and ask yourself these three questions:
Win the big ones. Let go of the rest.
In the series of video blogs that accompany these articles, I’ve been interviewed by Nathan Lyons http://www.spotoninterviews.com. Nathan is a high potential from Gen Y who sought my insights on a number of topics from my book Triggers with the critically important angle of “advice I might provide to the younger generations”. I’m excited to share this series of short interviews with you and of course I hope you enjoy my written thoughts on the topics as well!
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My mission is simple. I want to help successful people achieve positive, lasting change and behavior; for themselves, their people, and their teams. I want to help you make your life a little better. With four decades of experience helping top CEOs and executives overcome limiting beliefs and behaviors to achieve greater success, I don’t do this for fame and accolades. I do this because I love helping people!
As an executive educator and coach, I help people understand how our beliefs and the environments we operate in can trigger negative behaviors. Through simple and practical advice, I help people achieve and sustain positive behavioral change.