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The Wheel of Change




While we may not be able to change our environment and the triggers thrown at us, we can choose to change the way we respond to the environment and change the impact of the triggers on our lives.

We like to think we’re in control of our lives—that we dictate our actions, make rational decisions, and shape our future through sheer willpower. But in reality, our environment plays a significant role in influencing our behavior. We may start the day with clear intentions, yet by the afternoon, distractions, frustrations, and unexpected triggers have pushed us off course.


Achieving lasting personal change is one of the greatest challenges we face as adults. We resist it, make excuses, and cling to habits that no longer serve us. We rationalize our shortcomings, telling ourselves stories that keep us stuck in place. A major factor in this struggle is how we perceive the role of our environment in shaping our actions. We often underestimate just how much our surroundings impact us.


One moment, we’re patient and optimistic; the next, a single interaction can leave us frustrated and reactive. We may plan to eat healthily, but a stressful day at work has us reaching for comfort food. The bad news is that these environmental influences are relentless. The good news? By recognizing their power, we can begin to reclaim control. While we may not always be able to change our environment, we can change how we respond to it.


Are We Shaped by Our World, or Do We Shape It?


To understand change, we must first examine two opposing perspectives:


1. “My World Creates Me” – This viewpoint aligns with determinism, which suggests that external triggers completely shape who we are. The extreme version of this belief sees humans as little more than stimulus-response machines, reacting to their surroundings without true autonomy.


2. “I Create My World” – The opposite perspective aligns with free will, arguing that individuals have complete control over who they become. Those who embrace this belief think that through sheer determination, we can overcome nearly any obstacle.


In truth, neither perspective tells the full story. The reality is more nuanced:


We create our world, and our world creates us.


Life is an ongoing feedback loop. The choices we make shape our environment, and in turn, that environment influences the choices we make next. Every action we take sends ripples into the world around us, reinforcing certain behaviors and responses. Understanding this dynamic is key to making lasting changes in our lives.


Fate vs. Choice: What We Can and Cannot Control


At any given moment, who we are is the result of two forces: fate (what we cannot change) and choice (what we can control).


Fate: The Unchangeable Past and External Circumstances

Some aspects of our lives are simply beyond our control. Our genetics, the circumstances of our birth, and the irreversible decisions of our past all fall into this category.


For example:

  • We cannot change our DNA, height, or age. No matter how many anti-aging products we buy, we cannot reverse time.

  • We cannot rewrite history. The choices we’ve made—both good and bad—are part of our story.

  • We cannot single-handedly fix global issues. The weather, traffic jams, and macroeconomic trends will continue regardless of our complaints.


Accepting what we cannot change is crucial for personal growth. Many people waste energy resisting reality, fighting against the unchangeable instead of focusing on what is within their power.


Choice: The Power to Shape Our Future

While we may not control everything, we always have the ability to choose how we respond. Our choices define the direction of our lives.


Consider:

  • While we can’t change our genetics, we can choose to live a healthier lifestyle.

  • While we can’t alter the past, we can decide not to repeat the same mistakes.

  • While we can’t prevent a storm, we can bring an umbrella.

  • While we may not be able to stop a war overnight, we can join a movement that fights for peace.


This interplay between fate and choice is summed up perfectly in a quote attributed to Jawaharlal Nehru:


"Fate is the hand of cards that you have been dealt. Destiny is how you play them."


Robert Louis Stevenson put it even more succinctly:


"Life is not a matter of having good cards, but playing a poor hand well."


We cannot change the hand we were dealt, but we can choose how we play our cards. That is where The Wheel of Change comes in.


The Wheel of Change: A Framework for Personal Growth


The Wheel of Change is a practical tool for navigating transformation. It helps us balance fate and choice by breaking change into four categories:


The Two Dimensions of Change

  • Positive vs. Negative – Identifying what is working and what isn’t.

  • Change vs. Keep – Deciding what we want to change and what we want to maintain.





These two dimensions create four key components of The Wheel of Change:


1. Creating – Building the Future You Want

This represents the new habits, skills, and attitudes you want to cultivate. Ask yourself:

  • What kind of person do I want to become?

  • What behaviors and mindsets do I need to develop to get there?

  • What actions do I need to take to create this change?


2. Preserving – Holding onto What Matters

Not everything needs to change. Some aspects of ourselves are worth keeping. Ask yourself:

  • What strengths and values do I want to maintain?

  • What positive habits should I continue?

  • What elements of my environment support the person I want to be?


3. Eliminating – Letting Go of What Holds You Back

To move forward, we must shed what no longer serves us. Ask yourself:

  • What behaviors, habits, or beliefs are limiting me?

  • What toxic influences do I need to remove from my life?

  • What fears or doubts are preventing me from growing?


4. Accepting – Making Peace with Reality

There will always be factors we cannot change. Instead of resisting them, we must learn to accept them. Ask yourself:

  • What aspects of my life are beyond my control?

  • How can I change my attitude toward these unchangeable factors?

  • What mindset shifts can help me make peace with what is?

Putting The Wheel of Change Into Action

True transformation requires more than just recognizing these four components—it requires action.


1. Define who you want to become. Be specific about the changes you want to make.


2. Assess your environment. What external factors support or hinder your growth?


3. Make deliberate choices. Decide what to create, preserve, eliminate, and accept.


4. Iterate and adjust. Change is a process, not an event. Continually refine your approach.


By consciously engaging with The Wheel of Change, we can navigate life’s challenges with greater clarity and confidence.


Final Thoughts: The Power of Choice


The journey of self-improvement isn’t about striving for perfection—it’s about making better choices, one step at a time.


While we may not always control the triggers and challenges thrown at us, we can control how we respond. And in those moments of awareness—when we consciously decide how to act—we reclaim our power.


So, as you move forward, ask yourself:

  • What’s one thing I want to create in my life?

  • What’s one thing I want to preserve?

  • What’s one thing I need to eliminate?

  • What’s one thing I need to accept?


Your future is shaped by the choices you make today. Choose wisely.


Written by Marshall Goldsmith




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